In my‘Egocentric speech’ series, I attempt to establish a dialogue with my wounded inner self whom only I can summon up and comfort. Egocentric speech, a term in psychology, means talking to oneself or self-talk in plain language. This form of communication is originally a behavior language that appears frequently in children below the age of seven. Whereas talking to oneself in adulthood is often taken as ‘speaking for oneself’ and that happens when someone is trapped in a difficult situation and words unwittingly bulge forward from one’s mouth.This sends a signal to other people that the speaker’s inner selfis in an agitated state. Human beings instinctively protect themselves and often survive without knowing it themselves and ‘egocentric speech’ can be taken as one of those reactions.

The child in my paintings is my other self. Trapped in the vague fear and anxiety throughout my childhood, I had to face the threat of existence persistently. Finally, I resolve to talk to my inner self and started to heal my wounds. In my works, the bear mask symbolizes the current desire to heal my wounds as well as the wish to become an adult in order to protect other underprivileged children and wrap them with love. The thread phone is my pathway to heal wounds and through communion with me, my inner self can regain mental stability. A child in high anxiety usually could not remember other particulars in life except the biting cold all around and the world in my works is often drawn with a translucent color of soft pastel tones. The child in Illis talks into a thread phone and that gesture conveys her desperation to produce her own resonance.

The desires of children, which I name as in nate desires, are actually our primal needs. They should be separated from the wants that are generated through social interactions after we become adults. The roots of all pains and anxieties in life arise from the deficiency of these desires. For me, painting a piece of work is where I can meet all these needs as well as overcoming all the vague fears of daily life. Through painting I seek to reconcile with the wounded ‘me’ inside and create a new possibility in life.